My Kundalini Journal

Capturing the Dance of Kundalini: A Journey of Surrender and Self-Discovery

In the dance of life, there are moments that seem to linger for eternity, yet vanish in the blink of an eye. It’s these fleeting instants, like soap bubbles caught on a breeze, that I’ve endeavored to capture in this journal.

Here, in the following journal entries, lie the raw, unfiltered thoughts that have emerged from the depths of my being during my kundalini awakening journey. They serve as a testament to the profound experiences that have shaped my path—a way of anchoring the ephemeral in the tangible realm of ink and paper.

For those who have traversed the terrain of kundalini awakening, you understand the transient nature of these experiences. Like dreams slipping through your fingers upon waking, they have a tendency to dissolve into the ether as quickly as they arise.

That’s why I’ve made it a practice to document these moments as they occur—writing down my thoughts and reflections either during the experience itself or in its immediate aftermath. It’s a way of grounding myself in the reality of the moment, of affirming to myself that yes, these experiences are real, and yes, they are transformative.

But words alone cannot always capture the full essence of the kundalini awakening journey. That’s why, on occasion, I’ve turned to video recordings to document the physical manifestations of these experiences. Watching my body move in ways that defy conscious control, surrendering to the primal rhythm of the serpent’s dance, is a powerful reminder of the potency of kundalini energy.

In these moments of surrender, I’ve discovered a profound sense of liberation—a freedom from the constraints of ego and expectation. It’s a reminder that the true power of kundalini lies not in our attempts to control or manipulate it, but in our willingness to surrender to its divine flow.

So as I continue on this journey of self-discovery and transformation, I invite you to join me—to witness the dance of kundalini as it unfolds, to embrace the ecstasy of surrender, and to awaken to the infinite potential that lies dormant within us all.

Jan. 2, 2021

What does kundalini feel like? Sometimes it’s like magnetic sections of air bubbles that you think spin into different alignment to create a tunnel, but there’s a 3D knot somewhere that you need to untangle by spinning little vortex tornados of energy and melting away the knots or sometimes spinning and unknotting them into long guitar strings that wiggle like someone plucked it.

Other times it feels like a 3D holographic geometric shape of air that spins around and has different planes or levels of frequency at different angles depending on how it is positioned in your body. Sometimes it gets crooked and you can feel the magnetic planes in your body are off.

Sometimes it feels reptilian

Like jenga blocks or Tetris blocks of thought bubbles shifting around into place and sometimes releasing tension when they find a new place

Like magnetic bubbles trying to float their way upwards

Like boba tea bubbles squishing away into air

Like silk threads with rock candy crystals on them that can melt away

Like a zoetrope spinning around

Like a mini universe

Sept. 4, 2021

This is awe. Experiencing something you truly did not know was possible. You didn’t know it existed. It’s breaking the foundation of things you believed to be true or possible. Experiencing the chakras and the tree of life and kundalini energy is awe. Because it is both incredibly real, and seemingly unbelievable. But when you experience it, it makes everything else click and make sense. How the universe works. The aligning of planets concepts in astrology. Polarity. Vibration. Levels of consciousness.

How does it actually feel? It feels like your cells are all shifting direction. Polarity. Like this laser beam of electricity is moving through your body like waves. And it shifts the direction of your cells sometimes. Like the fluids around your bones. Your spinal fluid. You can interoceptively feel these spinning vortexes and energy centers inside your body, but not necessarily in the same sense that you can feel your heart beat or feel a rumble in your stomach. It’s almost like it has an added dimensionality to it. As if it’s not just located inside you like your blood, but as if it also is located elsewhere, perhaps wherever your thoughts and feelings are located. In your consciousness/mind, right? So that’s what this feels like, both physical and mental/emotional/spiritual. Physically, there are different ways to describe it. The words I would use are electric, magnetic, liquid, sticky, salty, stretchy, reptilian.

Sensations include lightbulbs screwing into place and something clicking on and then disappearing into thin air; Jenga blocks or Tetris blocks shifting around and clicking into place; upside down tornado; lightning in a bottle.

It also feels like the feeling of a knuckle being cracked. Like that air bubble. But lots of them all bouncing around. And sometimes they pop into places. And they’re connected to each other in an infinity loop. And these various infinity loops get knots and get twisted up with each other. Often near the neck.

When you get into a meditative state while experiencing a lot of energy movement, you really feel and experience the meaning of as above so below. You can picture the tree of life and it’s relation to your body, the earth, the planets, to everything in both directions small to big. As above so below. As the inner so the outer. The microcosm the microcosm.

You can feel the tree of life and the chakras in your body, and how your body works in terms of emotions and thoughts and feelings and values and ethics and morals and all of the elements of the human experience. There’s so very much more than what we’re led to believe there is. At least, there’s so much that’s hidden right before our very eyes, we just never noticed it before.

When you realize how much more there is. Whether that’s finding god or finding yourself or finding your passion, whatever that is. You see how much richer life actually is than you ever realized was possible. You truly believed there were certain things in life that were one way, and now you see something that completely shifts that world view. This is what Jason Silva talks about in his video about awe. This is awe. When you experience something that wasn’t in your consciousness as a possibility. And it’s so incredible, that feeling.

March 13, 2022

Just had an experience in the guest bathroom at home. Kundalini was moving around. It was almost like a dream, cause it’s like as soon as it was over, when I woke up from it, it was hard to remember. But I’m trying to remember…. Ok I was staring at myself naked in the mirror. Trying to adjust my posture. And I would just let me body adjust itself. Stare at itself in the mirror and make micro adjustments. Not just staring with my eyes, but my whole body staring at itself. It’s reflection. Really SEEING myself. OBSERVING myself. My body. Completely neutrally. Not to judge or critique or compliment or anything. Really just seeing my body as if it’s not mine. And it legitimately looked like I was 2 feet higher. Felt that way. Like suddenly my head was at a higher altitude. My body in the mirror looked taller. I felt taller. And I could feel my body trying to come into alignment. I could feel kundalini moving around and feeling locked into certain places. Crystallized. Stuck. And then I closed my eyes and was telling myself “come home, come home” and I could feel it tightening up and then I said no let it go let it go “stop holding on” and I could feel an immense instant release just a great release as if gravity suddenly affected my chest and shoulders area differently. As if my chest and shoulders area literally because less heavy or less dense or something was released. It feels like maybe some of that energy reabsorbed elsewhere but for that moment it was an immediate release. And I could tell kundalini wanted to travel up my tongue and try going into kechari mudra. And I let her go and try. And she got pretty far. I closed my eyes and tried to let her practice going there. I tried to tell myself to just let go and stop focusing and just let it happen but it was hard to stop overthinking. I need to keep practicing. Work on trusting and letting go. And then suddenly I woke up from this. Saw myself in the mirror. Everything was a slightly different color palette. Different tint than before. I saw myself, my body in the mirror. I was back to my regular height. I looked different. I need to keep seeing myself and looking at myself, studying and learning myself. Knowing myself.

July 13, 2022

Sat outside during the storm. Soaked up energy from the air. Thunder and lightning. All the power. Could feel it.

Stretched deeply in bed. Happy baby pose.

Put on AirPods and listed to Cody Fry’s Symphony Sessions album. Was sitting down but had to stand. Stood in middle of room and body started gyrating and swaying to the music. Could feel Kundalini dancing around inside. Tried to let her take control and move how she wanted while I let go. Eventually I joined in and sort of “danced with her”. Swaying back and forth. Each going in opposite directions to balance each other out.

Finished the whole album. Could feel myself connected with the music. Could feel the two poles of my body adjusting. Balancing out. Going through my feet and up out my head. Aligning my central column. Light energy from above and energy from below.

And I noticed how so many of the lyrics were speaking to me directly. Especially the song Underground, which felt very much like the hero’s journey, or the ascent up a ladder, a light from above, floating upwards. The ground shaking. Felt like he was describing my Kundalini experience. Other songs too had lyrics that deeply resonated and felt like he was singing to and about me.

Then went into full lotus on the floor and started the album again. Could deeply feel Kundalini balancing things out. Especially in the throat chakra area. In the back of my neck.

Continued to let my body move as it wanted to. Kundalini dancing around. Often my hands would stretch out in a T or up above me.

Then sat on the chair, and saw a light flash in the window (either more lightning, or just a car), and as that happened he sang lyrics about sitting in a chair and seeing light through the curtains. It was incredible synchronization that connected me further into the experience.

I’m out of it now. Its sometimes hard to recall, as if it were a dream. Sometimes like how the more you try to remember, the faster it hides in your mind and you can’t remember. But it was real. I could feel the bubbles, almost like crystal rock candies that would float upwards and dissolve away. I could feel the middle pillar activated and the energy centers aligning themselves. I could feel ground energy spiraling upwards, and hitting different blockages and working around them and also kundalini energy readjusting and healing and realigning these blockages. There were times where it felt almost scary, like the sensation of being really far up high and not wanting to fall off the edge. But then when you remind yourself to trust, to allow it to do what it needs to do, it actually will do that.

September 9, 2023

Just had a powerful kundalini experience. Naked in front of the mirror. Body was seeing itself as it if. Adjusting. Aligning. Spine. Swirling circling energy. Vortex of energy down sushumna central channel. The whole time listening to songs by The Family Crest. Body moving with music. Lyrics speaking to me deeply. Dancing and flowing. Feeling the vibrations and flow. Trying to let go and melt into the waves. Seeing the sacred geometry of my naked body in the mirror. Watching my body align itself.

September 14, 2023

Wow. Powerful kundalini experience tonight. Naked in front of bathroom mirror about an hour. Spine aligned and adjusted. Body morphed. Watched itself in the mirror. Morphed into alignment. Magnetic pulses and proprioception. Recited the Pattern on the Trestleboard. Held hands facing each other and could see and feel the ball of energy in between hands. Magnetic pulls backward. Could see the sacred geometry of my body… key points like eyes, third eye, mouth, nipples, belly button. Could see the snake made out of shadows and body hair. Definitely a correlation to body hair it seems. The alignment. Eyes going in and out of focus. Hard to remember all of this after the experience is over, like trying to remember a dream. It was so real, I experienced it awake. But as soon as it’s over, it starts to fade away. So I try to write about it as soon as possible. I even recorded some video of it to save as proof that it was happening. It was like a snake of energy crawling around. Could feel the electricity. Like big joints around my body wanted to pop. Definitely a lot of adjustment going on in my neck. A sensation of being on the edge of a cliff. Or the risk of both electrocution and safety at the same time. Reminded myself to trust. And by now, it’s actually hard to recall some of it. It really feels like waking up after a dream, and trying to piece it back together, but it slips away. At least I recorded some video and wrote as much as I could remember.

November 26, 2023 11:11pm

Just had an incredible powerful kundalini experience in front of the yoga mirror. Walked around apartment with nag champa in circles. Ended up in front of the poster of the tree of life reciting the pattern on the Trestleboard. Really talking through every single word of each statement. Slowly. Repeatedly. Making sure I was really grasping each one and connecting it to my body and the energy centers associated to each sephirot. Ended up naked. Could feel the positive and negative polarities in my body side to side and see them reflected in the mirror in the sense that my body could sense itself in the mirror and I could see a more detailed view of myself. Body made micro adjustments. Especially opening up and aligning the centers above and behind my shoulders and neck. Unraveling the line of energy from my sacrum to my forehead. My body was gyrating. Watching myself naked in the mirror. Dancing and thrusting and gyrating in a snakelike fishlike wave. Finding my center with the wave of the line of spirit energy running up and down. Visualizing the 3D tree of life energy lines around my body in the mirror. North and East and south and west and up and down and center. All the directions. And then the second it’s over, you snap back to the automation and start to forget what just happened. But luckily I remembered and wrote this down. I really do feel like I’m upgrading my DNA. Re-wiring the energy behind my skin. Aligning my energy centers. It’s a physiological real sensation happening TO me. I experience the kundalini. I am the kundalini. Oh I almost forgot to write down. I also spent quite a while in the bathroom naked in front of the mirror, tapping my body. All over. Really making myself feel and watch myself tap each part of my body. Force my eyes to actually see everything for what it is. I made myself smile and stare into my eyes for quite a while. Fix my face. Adjust my smile and eyes. My eyebrows. Trying to find the I AM from the pattern on the Trestleboard meditation. Connect to my voice and the I AM THAT I AM.

December 1, 2023

WOW POWERFUL KUNDALINI EXPERIENCE TONIGHT. Naked in front of bathroom mirror. Could feel the unraveling and untwisting. Like ropes. Unknotting. Something big unlocked/clicked into place in my throat neck area. Lots of unknotting in my shoulders. My weight and balance and equilibrium adjusting and shifting into place. Really seeing myself in the mirror as the 3D tree of life that I am. Picturing and feeling the 3D sacred geometric shapes that make up my body. Pyramids. Metatron’s cube. My spine adjusting like a snake. Gyrating and dancing. Belly dancing. eyes going in and out of focus. Forced myself to write this down because it’s so easy to forget. It’s like a lucid dream state. You’re aware, but also not in control. Focused on feeling the different energy centers specifically my core. Where was I controlling my body’s energy from? Focused on that thought and tried to readjust. Lots of pops in my body like knees when I would bend them, they’d crack/pop. The idea of “true north” and letting each part of my body find its true north. Adjust the cells throughout my body to balance and find their center. Let all the parts find their way home to center, where they are meant to be, without holding or forcing.

December 2, 2023

Another kundalini experience. This time in the living room on the carpet. Doing really deep bends and stretches and feeling the energy flow. Connection to the earth. Letting gravity take over and bind me to the floor. Thinking about how gravity holds everything else in place but somehow we are able to defy gravity and move around. Trying to do the opposite and surrender to gravity. Focusing on actively pushing away from the earth as I pushed back into child’s pose or downward dog. Then going into a deep forward fold and really breathing deeply into my body. Really straightening my legs, feeling like the bones were expanding and more air was getting between them. Back in forward fold, focusing on reversing the energy flow going from feet to hands instead of the other way. Through the earth. Breathing through my feet and out through my hands. Into and out of the earth. Trying to set my mind on doing a handstand. I need to train my brain to allow gravity to go through my hands and hold me up.

April 11, 2024

Powerful kundalini moment sitting outside on the balcony. Spine started snake dancing while I was sitting. Gyrating back and forth connecting to the center. Realizing how true love, true connection with another human is when you both have a shared vision, a shared dream. Visualizing together. Creating a mental image together.