For so many years, I have sought to define myself through the external—the visible, the measurable, the tangible. My job, my possessions, my house, my friendships, even my physical body. These things became like mirrors reflecting an identity back to me. Yet, as I sit with myself now in quiet reflection, I see how illusory those reflections have been. They are transient, ever-changing, and in the grand scheme of things, they hold little meaning.

I am not my body. I am not my job title. I am not the house I live in or the belongings I fill it with. Stripped of these identifiers, I’m left asking a question that feels both profound and haunting: Who am I?

This question feels ancient, as if whispered across millennia by seekers of truth. The sages and mystics of Kabbalah speak of the Ein Sof, the boundless, formless source of all creation. Could it be that my true self lies in that formlessness? That the essence of who I am is not something that can be seen, measured, or owned, but something infinite and ineffable?

The Hermetic principle of As Above, So Below resonates here. Just as the universe is an intricate dance of energy and consciousness, perhaps I too am a microcosm of that divine interplay. My essence is not the outer form, but the energy that animates it—the spark of life, the observer behind the thoughts, the stillness beneath the noise.

I’ve spent so much energy chasing an image of myself that I no longer recognize. I’ve built a version of “me” based on societal expectations, material success, and outward appearances. And yet, I now see these efforts for what they are: distractions from the deeper work of becoming.

The alchemists of old spoke of the process of transformation, of dissolving the impure to uncover the prima materia, the pure essence within. This feels like the work I am called to now: not the outward accumulation of achievements but the inward stripping away of illusions. Yoga teaches that through union with the divine, we remember our true nature. Kundalini energy lies dormant within us, waiting to rise, to awaken the consciousness that connects us to something far greater than ourselves.

Sacred geometry, with its elegant patterns that form the foundation of life, reminds me that there is a blueprint to existence. Perhaps my own life has a sacred design—a purpose waiting to unfold, not in what I do or own, but in how I align with the universal laws that govern all things.

I think about how others might describe me. Would they mention my house? My job? My physical form? These are things I’ve poured so much of myself into, but they are not me. They are shadows on the cave wall, as Plato might have said, projections of something deeper, something unseen.

So, who am I?

I am the energy that moves through me.

I am the awareness that observes my thoughts.

I am the stillness beneath the noise.

I am the essence seeking to return to the Source.

This realization feels both humbling and freeing. If I am not defined by the external, then I am not bound by it either. My essence is eternal, like the fractal patterns of sacred geometry, unfolding infinitely. The journey is not about finding myself in the world, but remembering that I already exist as part of something infinite and divine.

For now, I will sit with this question and let it guide me. Not as a riddle to be solved, but as a portal to deeper understanding. Who am I? Perhaps I am everything—and nothing—all at once.